Happily (N)Ever After?

“After All, Maybe It’s… Biology”

Page 310, #1 – “If we view love and relationships as largely matters of chemistry and biology, what kinds of changes could this view bring about in our beliefs about such seemingly mystical (or at least mysterious, since they involve the human heart) things like falling in love, physical attraction, courtship, and the like? Even more important, in what ways could such changes in beliefs affect our behavior, our cultural traditions, and institutions? Write an essay exploring these questions, ultimately settling on what you believe to be a likely answer or set of answers to them.”

What exactly is love and why is it so mystical? Honestly, I feel like there is more to love than just courtship and a marriage license. Helen E. Fisher’s essay, “After All, Maybe It’s… Biology” opens up numerous pathways as to why we fall in love. I’m not talking about the love we see in movies with infatuated individuals showering their partner with chocolates and roses, but more of how our bodies and minds are functioned and made to love rather than us changing ourselves in order to love.

Our human bodies are wired to love, just like any other animal on this earth. I do not think that many individuals realize this and think of it more as a learned trait. As a society we have a way of thinking that our Prince Charming just comes along one day, we date, get married, and have kids in that white picket fence surrounding our cute little house. But is there more to it than that? What makes us fall in love? More importantly, why do we fall in love? Nature has designed us women and men to work together (Fisher 300). In many cultures, there are several gestures to lure in the opposite sex, and many of them tend to be similar with that of certain animals. In many Western cultures, “men and women often stare intently at potential mates for about two to three seconds during which their pupils may dilate – a sign of extreme interest” (Fisher 300). This gaze triggers a primitive part of the human brain, immediately producing two emotions – approach or retreat (Fisher 300). Not only is our brain functioned to perform like that, but also animals like baboons tend to gaze at each other during courtship as well (Fisher 301). Such facts as these bring up the fact that chemistry and biology play a large role in our “fairy tale” love stories.

Like I said earlier, not many people realize how the human body is made up in order to lure in the opposite sex. We actually have certain odors that trigger infatuation from the opposite sex (Fisher 304). Who even knew that?! The fact that biology and chemistry makes up for why we love can change the perception we have on love completely. Before reading this essay, I always thought love was something that just happened out of nowhere; something you couldn’t stop. Now, that may be true, but now I know how and why we love, thanks to the anatomy of our human bodies. But what if our society only focused on the biology rather than myths and old fairy tales? It would change some cultural traditions. We wouldn’t really make movies about falling in love anymore. That just wouldn’t be our interest because we were just made to love, and how boring is that? It would change courtship and how we date. We wouldn’t consider a guy attractive anymore because of his money and material possessions. If we knew that we were built to love and attract the opposite sex, then why would we need matchmakers and books on love to tell us what to do? Would that really matter anymore? We are animals, even though most of us don’t think of us that way, and we do our have our own natural instincts just like any other animal on this Earth. Instead of living in a world filled with drawn out hearts and candies, it would be more animalistic and to the point. I think we should stick with our mystical and mysterious love lives – to me it sounds more fun and we can always leave it up to our own imaginations.