Monday, November 30, 2009

Peer Review on Nicole Erickson

Overall you had great posts! They were all very lengthy full with good facts as well as commentary. Length was not a problem at all, so I do not think you should have any problem whatsoever with finding a post to evolve from for your final project!

Your very first post I thought was well-written. It was lengthy, but in a good way. You had some great comments that were backed up with facts. Overall it was interesting. You also had very few grammatical errors! The same thing goes for your second post! I was intrigued with your insight!

The post “Bring Monogamy Back!” on October 12 was also another great post. I felt like you wrote with confidence in what you were writing. Your commentary proved that you knew what you were talking about. There was also hardly any grammar issues! This I think would also be another great post to evolve from, because by how you wrote it seemed as if it was something of your interest and I think that would help you to create a successful essay!

I also thought the post “Material Girl in a Material World” was another post that you seemed to show some interest in. I think it was another great post that was full of good information throughout the entire thing. Also, the post after that, “Immigration and the Economy Weed out the Selfish People” was interesting was well. You took a great approach in how to write it. Both posts overall were overall really well written!

Great job on all of your posts! You are an awesome writer and will have no problem on your final project! Good luck and I hope my critiques have helped somewhat!

Peer Review on Lauren Angulo

For the most part, almost all of your posts had awesome intro paragraphs where you stated the thesis clearly. They weren’t overfilled with information and clearly stated what you were going to be writing about. You also had great titles; they pulled me in and made me interested in what the post would be about. All in all you had great grammar; your posts were not filled with incorrect grammar or anything of that sort! I’d just reread some a few times and you’ll catch just the small errors. There were just a few posts where I noticed some of your thoughts were all clumped into two big paragraphs. I know they’re just blog posts, but I would keep that in mind when writing an essay for your final project!

Your post “A Thousand Thoughts a Day” on September 8 was a great post. Not only was it clearly organized, but your arguments were well backed up with facts from the reading. You did a great job keeping it simple and not overly full of unnecessary information. There weren’t any grammatical errors that I could catch as well. Awesome post!

I thought your post “Technology Within the Family” was a great post also. You had many great points as in to why technology helps gay and lesbian relationships. If you haven’t already, I think this post would be great to turn into an essay as well. You seemed to know exactly what you were talking about; you sounded very confident in your writing.

I also enjoyed your “The Chemistry of Relationships” post on October 13. You organized it well and proved your points in an easy manner. You had TONS of information and you also had enough commentary to go along with it so it wasn’t full of just straight facts. Your concluding also had a lot of insight on the topic, so if you do end up writing about this I’d break up some of your concluding throughout your paper because the commentary you had was great.

I also thought your “A Mallcondo Culture” post on November 3 was another great short essay. I definitely think you could evolve it into something bigger for our final project. Again, like your other posts, it was well put together and organized with facts and commentary.

You are a very good writer and I hope these critiques helped! Good job and good luck on your final project!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Week 12 Blog Reviews

Group 2 Peer Reviews

Brittany


Both of your posts did not show up again on your blog. They were there, but they just had “…” as the body. You might want to fix that!


Monique


In your “We Need Government Structure!” post, I’d first off, like to 100% agree with you. We were both on the same exact stance on this subject but it was again, really cool to see another person’s insights on the topic. It’s true; the only real logical explanation of having a nation without a government to control what we are able to do, then our crime rates would SKYROCKET! No doubt! So yes, I agree, our laws WERE made for a reason and not in a negative way either! All in all, I also agree and believe that it is good to have a stable nation by having some sort of government structure. This post was well written, you had a lot of good comments and points throughout the entire thing, and I didn’t catch any errors whatsoever!

In your second post for the week, “Finance and Numbers,” I loved your intro paragraph. Not only was it well written, but it was full of facts but still to the point. It clearly introduced the topic for the day. You took a great path on how to construct your post while clearly answering the prompt. Good writings for the week!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Development of Finance

Recently, finance has developed into an academic discipline because of mathematics as well as economics and physics. There have several steps in order to create finance into the discipline it is today. Thanks to several economists, their contributions have helped immensely with the reputation of finance.

We all know that money is a huge fascination in today’s society, and without it I honestly do not know where we would be. We always seem to want more; we can never settle with what we have. Although finance has recently become a recognized academic discipline, its roots go back centuries (Chance, Peterson 447). For awhile now, “economists studying finance have taken the body of knowledge about how human beings behave when faced with uncertainty and translated it into mathematical descriptions of the way people obtain and invest funds” (Chance, Peterson 447). So, with the advancement in our technology, finance has increasingly become an empirical science (Chance, Peterson 447).

Alfred Marshall, a professor of political economy at the University of Cambridge, published a book in 1890 (Chance, Peterson 447). He had discussed in his book “how the present value of an anticipated future benefit could be ascertained” (Chance, Peterson 447). The logic behind this was that money in the bank grows a considerable amount when the interest is compounded (Chance, Peterson 447). Similar calculations also apply to the price of stocks. In 1939, economist John Burr Williams argued that the appropriate price for a stock is the present value of all future dividends paid to its owner (Chance, Peterson 447). This opened up other gateways. In 1959, Myron Gordon took Williams’ notion further, “assuming that dividends increase gradually at a constant rate” (Chance, Peterson 447). This is also known as the Gordon model. Many financial analysts still use this model to determine the value of certain stocks (Chance, Peterson 447). As you can see, just a few of these economists have contributed a significant amount in order to recognize finance as an academic discipline.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Big Brother Society

What’s to an institution without rules? I believe the best word to describe that is, chaos. Throughout our lives we have learned to obey and follow a set list of rules in school, family life, as well as with the law and society. However, there are some individuals out there who do disregard all of these rules that are provided in order to have more peaceful surroundings which is why our society enforces such regulations. Without the government, interfering with American’s lives, how safe would we really be? And how far is too far?

In Josh McHugh’s report, “Politics for the Really Cool,” he explains how libertarian Sameer Parekh is using software as his weapon against the government. This is also known as, cryptography. Cryptography comes in handy and efficient for someone who cannot afford to leave around a paper trail (McHugh 436). In other words, if a business man doesn’t want to pay his income taxes, then he can avoid the IRS knocking on his door by using this. To me, this is unfair. I find it absurd that they sell such programs on the internet. While all of us normal, honest Americans are paying our income taxes every year, many individuals keep that cash in their pockets. How greedy can some people be? Walter Wriston, a former chairman of Citibank, wrote in his 1992 book, The Twilight of Sovereignty to the history of cryptography (McHugh 436). He believed that this could potentially cause a weakening of national governments through the power the technology and cryptography. Honestly, why weaken our government? Our government in my eyes is here to protect us and keep everything in working order so we can have a safe and sound sleep every night. I feel like there are several individuals out there who take this the wrong way and feel like our government is “out to get us,” which is completely false. Without a government, we would have no structure in our society whatsoever.

I can see where some individuals get the mindset of our government interfering too much with our everyday lives. A lot of our entertainment in movies and shows are centered on the idea of a “big brother” society. We all have that fear, but who ever said it could get to that point? The only reason there are such revisions in our government is because of certain events, like terrorist attacks. I honestly feel so much better at the end of the day knowing that our government is enforcing laws in order to prevent such tragedies and horror happening again. I can give up a little bit of my own privacy in order to save thousands of lives. Now, if the government happens to increasingly invade my everyday life, then that could be a problem, but for now I do not see that happening in the near future. John McHugh’s article was written well over a decade ago but he actually raised the question of where the 21st century would be at. Well, we’re in the 21st century now and I don’t feel much different. Maybe I would if I was a criminal, but I’m not. All in all, individuals need to realize that our governments sole purpose is to keep our society running safe and smoothly, not to invade our lives.

Week 11 Blog Reviews

Group 2 Peer Reviews

Brittany


Both of your posts did not show up on your blog. They were there, but they just had “…” as the body. You might want to fix that!

Monique

Your post about materialism was well put together. Not only did you have a good, lengthy post, but you had some great facts as well as commentary. I really liked how you pointed out how many people might be in debt because of the classification of lower, middle, and upper class. It’s 100% true. Many people tend to want to buy elaborate things in order to “fit in,” causing them to spend money that they do not have. You are also right; unfortunately this cycle will continue to happen in our society no matter what.

I enjoyed your post on Hispanics and our economy. It was interesting to hear the opposite side of what we had read. You had a lot of good insight. I especially liked this part in your last paragraph, “Regardless, of what ethnic background a person comes from should not be used to determine a person citizenship. If they are paying taxes and contributing to our economy than they should be considered American as any other person in North America.” It was definitely a good mind opener! Good job!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Hungry Economy

America is built upon the foundation of being known as a “melting pot” full of diverse communities. However, although we are all of the same nationality, some ethnic groups have definitely made their way into the American community. Some are more prominent than others. Take for example the Asian American community. Several families from Asia have made the long voyage to America in search of new opportunities as well as an American citizenship. A good amount of them have started up their very own family owned businesses. Although running and starting a business from basically nothing is a difficult task, many of these Asian Americans have flourished with success, ultimately boosting the American economy.

I’m sure many of you have noticed that there is a considerable amount of Asian American operated businesses throughout metropolitan areas. In fact, “Asian and Pacific Islander businesses in the United States totaled about 913,000 in 1997” ("Census Brief" 1). All of these businesses in total “employed more than 2.2 million people and generated $306.9 billion in revenues” ("Census Brief" 1). As you can see, these statistics are pretty shocking. Between “1992 and 1997, the number of businesses owned by Asians and Pacific Islanders increased about four times as fast as the total number of businesses” ("Census Brief" 1). This was way back in 1997, over a decade ago, so one could only imagine the numbers today even with our recent downfall in the economy. Who ever knew that just the category of certain ethnic owned businesses in general could produce so much revenue, thus contributing enormously to our economy?

Not only have Asian Americans taken over the business world by storm, but they have also done it in an extremely smart way. They have targeted metropolitan areas as a solid foundation in starting a business. That is how successful businesses start out; you are bound to get customers regardless. Basing it off the patterns seen in states, more than 1 in 3 Asian and Pacific Islander owned firms could be found in the following metro areas: New York, NY, Honolulu, HI, and Long Beach, Orange County, San Francisco, and Los Angeles, CA ("Census Brief" 1). Orange County alone was dominated by about 45,000 businesses, which employed 135,000 people while generating receipts of $15 billion. As you can see, by choosing a well trafficked area of hungry consumers, businesses will generally pull in a great amount of statistics.

Such Asian American owned businesses ultimately feed the ravenous monster called our economy. Without them, our economy would never be completely satisfied. Many of those owners once had a dream and eventually fulfilled them. Without a dream in the first place, our economy would be severely affected. Thanks to that dream, the monster of our economy can sleep safe and sound at night without having to worry one bit.


Works Cited


"Asian and Pacific Islander-Owned Businesses." Census Brief (2001): 1-2. Web. 5 Nov 2009. http://www.census.gov/prod/2001pubs/cenbr01-7.pdf

*Note: I don't know how to format the "Works Cited" properly with the hanging indent because it's on a blog and not Microsoft Word!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A Material World

Page 418, Directed Freewrite #1

Imagine a world without material possessions. It’s hard, isn’t it? Without materialism, the world would not be the world as we know it. Slowly but surely, the commercial market has taken over America by storm. Our society has increased its productivity of such things rapidly throughout the past century. In the essay “Two Cheers for Materialism” by James Twitchell, he explains how materialism doesn’t always have negative effects. Although there are always two sides to every argument, I also agree with him. Yes, materialism can truly possess and consume a person so much to a point, but at the same time I believe that our society would not be the society it is today without these material possessions.

Back in the day, the French once described us Americans as “a nation of shopkeepers” (Twitchell 389). Compared to Europe, we seem to consume our time by spending money. In fact, Americans tend to shop three to four times as many hours as Europeans (Twitchell 389). It seems as if we are the only country who does prize itself on consumer products; we are always in a race of who can produce more efficient and advanced technology. However, sooner or later we are going to need to have to “acknowledge the uncomfortable fact that this amoral consumerama has proved potent because human beings love things” (Twitchell 389).

Stanley Lebergott, an economist at Wesleyan University, once argued that most Americans have spent their way to happiness (Twitchell 392). Not only has consumer products provided a sort of temporary happiness to humans, but it also has been blamed for the rise of eating disorders, depression, corruption of politics, and the spread of “affluenza” (Twitchell 390). It has also glorified holidays such as Christmas, or events like birthdays. Without such gifts, what would those holidays be like? I almost want to believe that they wouldn’t exist. Or maybe they would, but they just wouldn’t be that fun. It’s sort of pathetic in a way to think about how much our culture relies on such things, but then again, I could not imagine our life without them.

It’s clearly obvious that we Americans love things as well as live for things. By “things” I mean material possessions. Without such “things” we would not live in the world as we know it. The world would still exist, yes, but what would there be without materialism? Life would be boring; life would be bland. Although there are many negative affects with consumer products, I still believe that there is some good that comes out of it. For instance, without such things, we would not be able to perform everyday tasks such as cleaning our house or keeping in touch with friends with the newest technology. Yes life would be simpler, but it’s 2009, what else do you expect? It’s true, with age things do get better and with time we are able to produce more efficient items in mass quantity in our consumer market. I also believe that such facts of materialism affecting politics, happiness, etc. all just depends on each individual person. We are each our own person, so we are able to withstand and not let materialism consume our lives. I believe we can still enjoy life as we know it, as long as we do not let material things consume us completely. With our knowledge expanding we are creating more and more things in order to make each and every day easier. We should be applauding materialism.

Week 10 Blog Reviews

Group 3 Blog Reviews

Brittany


I enjoyed reading your “Clean Lyrics: Making Hip Hop Lame” post. You have probably already noticed that I am also a hip-hop fan. I completely agree with you, hip-hop is lame when it’s edited. I find myself getting mad when I accidentally download the wrong version of a song. You would never think that profanity would really make a difference, but it does, because that’s just how hip-hop artists express themselves. I enjoyed seeing someone write about the same thing, but just with a different perspective.

Wow, your “Crash” story was pretty intense. I’m glad to hear that everything was okay with Nancie and her mom. Your writing was pretty deep and you used a good “eerie” tone like the prompt suggests. Great writing!

Monique

We both had pretty much the same exact views about the music industry, but you still had different points so it was interesting to see what you had to say. Overall, your writing was put together very well, however, I found a few grammatical errors. Nothing too big though because it was a great post and full of information!

I’m sorry to hear about your grandpa! I’m glad to hear he is alright though, but that is completely absurd of Peter Piper Pizza to treat you and your family that way. It’s a shame how some people honestly have no feelings whatsoever. Being a nursing major, it’s frustrating to really hear about how some people can be so rude and have no sympathy, but hey that’s just how the world is I guess! Anyways, your post was great, however you had a few grammatical errors, but nothing too big again. You had an immense amount of good details as well, making it overall a good post. Good job!